fake a smile and move on

jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home

(via 0sha)

Hey so if we have a mutual follow goin on, feel free to ask for my 

• cellular number
• snapchat
• twitter
• facebook
• skype
• email
• facetime
• first born

you know, anything you want

(Source: jo--harvelle, via 0sha)

instead of milk with my cereal i use wine and then also instead of my cereal i use wine

(Source: teap0ts, via 0sha)